Dating a woman who has been abused
For example, I referred to “darker times,” or mentioned that I saw a therapist regularly.
It was heartbreaking to have my car repossessed two days after I made the decision to leave. I looked for answers in churches and conversations.
What you do is not as important as how she may respond to you.
Until they seek help for codependency or other issues in their life, they should not be dating at all.
There are lots of places where you can go educate yourself at a place like RAINN, National Sexual Violence Resource Center, or 1in6, and here’s a link to a fact sheet from the Center for Disease Control. Don’t make your date wonder whether you thought he or she was damaged goods because of sexual violence. Keep his or her confidence, even if you don’t continue dating.
That way, you won’t put yourself in the positions of asking your date to be your teacher and you are much less likely to say something that will later regret. I remember the look I would sometimes get from dates, “Oh god, this chick has baggage.” Newsflash: All humans have baggage, it’s what makes us human. While we continue to reduce the shame and stigma around sexual violence, it’s still a personal story.