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Eventually, I softened and started to warm up to the possibility of being in a relationship. He was really cute, really sweet, had a good job, and seemed pretty much perfect for me.

I was aloof, I was hard to read, I didn’t get too close, I was present but never available, essentially, I was a guy (in the psychological sense anyway! My ‘guy’ behavior caused the actual guys was seeing to take on the ‘girl role’ and they were always way more into it than I was (this was also due to my aforementioned heartbreak which rendered me numb).When a guy won’t call you his girlfriend it doesn’t always mean he doesn’t like you or that he never will.Oftentimes, it may mean that he isn’t ready to commit in that way at that moment.I guess by not being his girlfriend, I was pre-emptively avoiding all the messiness a breakup involves.Also, not being an official couple just made me feel safe, like there was still a distance between us that would prevent him from getting too close.

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