Healthy and unhealthy dating relationships
On a conscious level, you may assess the things he said, on an unconscious level, you’re looking at his body language, his tone, the way he phrases things, how much eye contact he makes, his demeanor.If your unconscious finds something familiar in that person, something that reminds you of an unresolved hurt from the past, it will light up and push you towards that person.(A great book to learn more on this concept is “Getting the Love You Want” by Harville Hendrix.I would even call it a must-read.) You may also unconsciously seek out partners who have some quality that is under-developed in you.These decisions aren’t conscious, they happen very deep beneath the surface in areas we can’t access.When we meet someone, we immediately assess everything about them (again, this happens unconsciously).For instance, if your parents always made you feel like you weren’t good enough, you may seek out guys who are full of themselves and treat you like you’re not worthy of their love in an attempt to rectify those feelings from your past.If your father was very critical, you may find yourself drawn to a man who is very critical and try to win over his love and approval to heal from the hurt of your fathers rejection.
Things feel calm, there’s no drama, no heart palpitations…it feels really nice. That’s because the first scenario illustrates everything we’ve ever been told about love.
Just because people feel strongly for each other doesn’t always mean they can be together.
MORE: The Most Important Relationship Advice You Will Ever Receive It is imperative to have a foundation of compatibility, shared goals and interests, and common values. Before you emotionally invest, it is very wise to determine if you are . When you first meet someone, you want to spend every minute of every day with them.
You ruminate over every detail of your interaction with him–what he said, what you said, what his body language said. You check your phone constantly to see if he called or texted.
If he does, your stomach drops, your heart races, you want to leap off your seat and scream for joy.