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“All I saw was loneliness and anxiety and frozen eggs and criticizing men.
I wanted to find an independence from that.”When Ms.
These writers have been greeted with a great deal of attention, yet there remains the anxious sense that to write about such topics is to risk forfeiting gravitas. Witt’s book is among the most personal of the bunch, offering up her perceptions of (and adventures in) the worlds of internet dating, internet pornography, orgasmic meditation and the kink industry. Witt’s book is her willingness to confess her unhappiness.“You can tell yourself different stories about why things are happening,” Ms. “I knew the story that I was telling myself — that I would eventually meet someone and get married — felt really false.
And also, it just wasn’t happening.”And so, she headed to the West Coast to try to figure out some other way to be content, if it turns out that the romantic-comedy concept of love, with its perfect, permanent, tea-for-two ending, was not to be hers.“Part of why I wanted to write the book was that everything I read told me that my life was a question of luck and chance, and if it didn’t work out, if I didn’t meet somebody,” she said.
“The big hurdle was my parents reading stuff, because we had maintained this fiction about what my life was that was really comfortable for everybody.
Witt’s book: her quest to find some kind of new arrangement, even while she harbors a fierce attachment to the old ones.“Labor of Love: The Invention of Dating,” by Moira Weigel, is, like Ms. It wasn’t until the end of the process of writing her book that Ms. She includes the story in the first pages of her book; it’s one of the few explicitly personal exchanges she relays. Weigel, the entire process felt “urgent” and intensely personal, she told me, because the questions of how people relate to each other romantically were the ones she cared about.“I really wanted to take the subjects of love, sex and dating seriously and felt keenly aware of the trap that I had seen many young female writers pushed into, when they were encouraged to focus on ‘personal’ subjects.Her newest book, “Sex Object,” is a memoir of her sex life and the misogyny that she believes it demonstrates.To this end, she provides an extensive collection of romantic encounters and involvements — even though she knew that her book, and its title, were bound to provoke endless Twitter hate.“Whenever women write about sex, whenever they write about their relationship history, there’s a sort of rush to judgment that it must be navel gazing, it must be frivolous, it’s unimportant,” Ms. “Whereas of course when men write things about their sex lives or past relationships, it’s brave and universal and all the great things.”For her, the decision to do a memoir was a departure.Social mores had changed to accept a wider range of sexual practices.And it felt like the protagonist in some ways, the main person experiencing all of this, was women.”Thus began her quest to understand the consequences of these changes.